


A Texas Thing

by okemmelie



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, fjord's a himbo, modern day AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 17:46:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20934209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okemmelie/pseuds/okemmelie
Summary: Fjord commits to a dumb thing he says in the middle of the night and his friends quickly catch on.





	A Texas Thing

**Author's Note:**

> based on a prompt from tumblr dot com. "it's a texas thing" from prompt-bank's drabble challenge

The first time he thinks of it, it’s three in the morning and he’s sitting on the kitchen floor with a book balanced perfectly on top of his head. It’s been a long time since he’s had it open, though. Reading, even for college, is hard sometimes. Plus, it’s three in the morning. He’s allowed.

He came prepared, however. Prepared, in this instance, meant that he had brought his gameboy with him and that he had sat down in reaching-distance from the fridge. Prepared didn’t mean that he, a man in his mid-twenties, had gotten any better at remembering the fucking Miltank at this gym. This very battle had taunted him as a child too, but was he supposed to remember his inevitable fate? Of course not! He was gonna loudly swear on his kitchen floor when he lost and there was no one to stop him.

Another thing he was not prepared for was his flatmate entering the kitchen. “Hey Fjord. Quick question: What the fuck are you doing? It’s the middle of the night, y’know.”

“Oh. Hey Molly,” Fjord says, as he made the fatal mistake of looking up, sending the book directly to the floor. Molly very clearly notices it, but dammit if Fjord isn’t gonna pretend it didn’t just happened. “It’s… a Texas thing?” He tries. When Molly doesn’t look convinced, he decides to commit. “Yeah. It’s a Texas thing! Don’t worry about it.”

Molly decides it isn’t worth it and goes back to bed.

*******

The seventeenth time it happens, he suspects that some of his friends were starting to catch on. But how could they know it was just a dumb excuse he came up with? None of them were from Texas, everything he had done very well could have been a Texan thing. This included.

They had all gone to McDonalds together, and while most of his friends had decided to get semi-reasonable meals, Fjord had decided to go for a tray of cheeseburgers.

“I bet you can’t do it. No. I know you can’t do it. You’re too much of a coward,” Nott had been on this for a while. She wanted him to try to eat one of his burgers in just two bites.

Now, normally Fjord tries to be the bigger person but as he sat there, listening to her taunting and looking at the cheeseburger in front of him, he decides that today he weren’t. “Okay,” he says, making eye contact with her as he shoves the entire burger into his mouth.

“Okay. Literally. Why would you do that? How can you even… what the fuck?”

The words that comes out of Fjord’s mouth are barely intelligible, so it isn’t much of a surprise that Nott asks him to clarify. But before he can do so, Jester leans in, wraps her arms around his and translates: “It’s a Texas thing!”

*******

The last time, he doesn’t say it. He is about to, but he never gets the chance.

He had taken Beau with him to the beach in the middle of the night, and after just chilling and talking for a while, they had decided to go throw rocks into the sea. Whoever threw the furthest won. The prize for winning was nothing: They were both broke and fine with friendly competition like this.

Sometimes when it’s the middle of the night, it gets dark. And sometimes when Fjord’s at the ocean, he kind of tunes the world out. Maybe if he hadn’t been an idiot, he would have heard Beau say: “Hey, look at this dumb thing Caleb sent me”. Maybe he would have taken a second to consider how odd the shape of the rock she handed him was before chugging it as far into the water as he possibly could.

A shove brings him out of his weird, trance-like state. “Why the fuck did you do that? Do you have any idea how expensive that was?” Beau yells at him. It still takes him a moment to realize what he has done.

“It’s a T––”

He honestly doesn’t blame Beau too much for straight up punching him in the face right then and there. “And that’s an Ohio thing. You’re such a fucking asshole. I hope you know that.”

**Author's Note:**

> fjord just has a lot of rights okay,,,,,, . anyway catch me @ helenmcwife on tumblr dot com


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